How To Increase Self Esteem

Wondering how to increase self esteem? You are not alone. One of the negative aspects of our culture is that it turns out so many people who feel they have failed in some way, even when an outsider would say that they are worthwhile and successful individuals.

Turning Your Self Talk Around

Stopping the negative self talk is one the activities that is recommended in many books and articles on how to increase self esteem. This means that whenever you catch yourself thinking some criticism of yourself, you turn it around and replace it with a positive thought.

For example, if you find yourself thinking, “I look fat,” try telling yourself, “I have gorgeous hair, and I can lose weight if I want, but right now I’m fine as I am.”

If you have trouble thinking of something positive to say, imagine that you are advising a friend. Somebody has said that negative thing to your friend (who is just like you) and you need to give them a compliment that will make them feel good about themselves again. It is often easier to come up with positive strokes this way.

Sometimes our negative thoughts are so automatic that we do not even notice them. Meditation can help us to become more aware of our thoughts. It can also have other beneficial effects for anxiety and depression, which are often linked to low self esteem. So if you find it difficult to identify or stop your negative self talk, try a meditation class.

Stop Making Comparisons

Try not to compare yourself with other people in any way. Sounds easy, perhaps, but it is not. We are constantly comparing ourselves with others for looks or performance in a million tiny ways. This can be turned around in just the same way as negative self talk.

Healthy self esteem is based on unconditional acceptance: knowing that we are good and worthwhile people no matter how we look or perform. Being stronger or weaker than others, getting the best or the worst grade in a test, being taller or shorter – none of these things should matter when we are interested in how to increase self esteem. All that matters is looking our best, working well and doing the best that we can.

Dealing With Negative People

If there are people in your life who are putting you down, you will probably find it difficult to talk to them about your self esteem issues. Whether it is colleagues at work or a demanding parent, you may not want to open yourself up to them to that extent. To many people who are wondering how to increase self esteem, it can seem like an admission of failure just to admit that you have issues with it.

It is fine not to make yourself vulnerable by talking about the issue in that case, but do make sure that you defend yourself against their put-downs. You can argue with them, telling them that what they have said is not true, or point out good things that you have done, or simply say, “It’s not helpful for me to hear that.” But do not let their criticisms go unanswered. Silence will be taken for agreement, by them but more importantly, by you yourself. And that is how you developed low self esteem in the beginning.

Those are just a few ways to build self esteem. You should enjoy the activities because they will make you feel good about yourself. Try as many of them as you can and see what works for you. As you will see if you investigate further, there are many answers to the question of how to increase self esteem and there is no need to limit yourself to just one.

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